Stat Anything: 9 Random Things for 5e Dungeons & Dragons

A few weeks back, I put out feelers on Instagram for stuff people wanted to see statted for fifth edition Dungeons & Dragons. I wasn’t disappointed with what came back. Since then, I’ve gotten to create all sorts of cool bads for D&D including Jafar from Aladdin, the monsters from A Quiet Place, and even an anti-murder-hobo.

However, by far, one of the strangest requests I got came from Instagram follower @bryonscore. Here’s what he requested:

King Midas, a plain sea turtle, a sentient fence that gets smaller around you the longer you aren’t paying attention to it, a caterpillar but it’s really muscular, two orcs conjoined by the skin on their backs, an eyeball floating shadow the shape of a human male, just grass, twelve disembodied heads in a pile, I’ll be back with more.

Perhaps Mr. Score was being facetious in his request. Little did he know I am absolutely insane and will gladly turn all these things into challenges for Dungeons & Dragons.

  • Development notes for 9 random suggestions.
  • King Midas for 5th Edition Dungeons & Dragons.
  • A Plain Sea Turtle for 5th Edition Dungeons & Dragons.
  • Sentient Fence for 5th Edition Dungeons & Dragons
  • Muscular Caterpillar for 5th Edition Dungeons & Dragons
  • Urgoth the Unyielding and Lefty 5th Edition Dungeons & Dragons
  • Floating Eyeball for 5th Edition Dungeons & Dragons
  • Just Grass for 5th Edition Dungeons & Dragons
  • Twelve Disembodied Heads in a Pile

Development Notes for 9 Random Suggestions

As funny as these are, there’s actually quite a few similar creatures found in the fifth edition monster books.

For example, King Midas is a noble that can petrify creatures when he touches them.

I just made a floating eyeball for another entry. All I have to do is nerf some of its abilities.

The sea turtle is a beast, and those are easy enough to make. Just had to do some research on real-world sea turtles. I based mine on the leatherback.

A muscular caterpillar is interesting. I tried finding an image of one and came upon this huge caterpillar man with a spear (see below). I thought that’d make a cool race, so that’s what I created: kampians (caterpillar) folk.

The orc twins are… well, orcs. Just stuck together. I’ll need to create some special features, but otherwise, they should be relatively normal orcs.

Shadow the shape of a human male is a shadow. Nothing needed for that. You can find shadows on page 269 of the Monsters Manual.

For the other listings, I’ll need a little more creativity on my part.

The sentient fence will make for a good mimic-like creature. It totally reminds me of something that’d be found on the Harpells estate in Longsaddle.

Just grass? Well, there’s a Stephen King story from Creepshow about “just grass” that spreads when you touch it. So I can make that something horrible.

And 12 disembodied heads in a pile? Yo, what y’all think about a pile of spellcasters that act as one? Terrifying.



King Midas

Medium humanoid (human), lawful good

Armor Class 15 (gold breastplate)

Hit Points 9 (2d8)

Speed 30 ft.

Abilities Str 11 (+0), Dex 12 (+1), Con 11 (+0), Int 12 (+1), Wis 14 (+2), Cha 16 (+3)

Skills Deception +5, Insight +4, Persuasion +5

Senses passive Perception 12

Languages Greek, Persian

Challenge 1/8 (25 XP)

King Midas’ Touch. Any nonmagical item or creature that King Midas touches turns to gold. If the target is a creature, it must make a DC 13 Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, the creature magically begins to turn to gold and is restrained. It must repeat the saving throw at the end of its next turn. On a success, the effect ends. On a failure, the creature is petrified until freed by the greater restoration spell or other magic.


Golden Scimitar. Melee Weapon Attack: +3 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 5 (1d8 + 1) piercing damage.

Golden Touch. Melee Weapon Attack: +3 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 3 (1d4 + 1) bludgeoning damage, and the target must succeed on a DC 13 saving throw against being magically petrified. On a failed save, the creature begins to turn to gold and is restrained. It must repeat the saving throw at the end of its next turn. On a success, the effect ends. On a failure, the creature is petrified until freed by the greater restoration spell or other magic.


Sea Turtle

Medium beast, unaligned

Armor Class 12 (natural armor)

Hit Points 18 (4d8)

Speed 20 ft., swim 50 ft.

Abilities Str 12 (+1), Dex 9 (-1), Con 13 (+1), Int 1 (-5), Wis 10 (+0), Cha 6 (-2)

Senses darkvision 30 ft., passive Perception 10


Challenge 1/8 (25 XP)

Hold Breath. The sea turtle can hold its breath for 5 hours.


Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +3 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 3 (1d4 + 1) piercing damage.



Sentient Fence

Huge monstrosity (shapechanger), unaligned

Armor Class 15 (natural armor)

Hit Points 133 (14d10 + 56)

Speed 15 ft.

Abilities Str 21 (+4), Dex 12 (+1), Con 19 (+4), Int 5 (-3), Wis 13 (+1), Cha 8 (-1)

Skills Stealth +7

Damage Immunities acid

Condition Immunities prone

Senses darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 11


Challenge 6 (2,300 XP)

Shapechanger. The sentient fence can use its action to polymorph into a fence or back into its true, amorphous form. Its statistics are the same in each form. Any equipment it is wearing or carrying isn’t transformed. It reverts to its true form if it dies.

Splinters (Fence Form Only). The fence is covered in sharp splinters. At the start of each of its turns, the fence deals 5 (1d10) piercing damage to any creature grappling it or vice versa. It can turn this ability on and off as a free action.

False Appearance (Fence Form Only). While the fence remains motionless, it is indistinguishable from an ordinary fence. Creatures can enter the same space as the fence.


Constrict. The fence closes around any creatures within its space. Each creature in the fence’s space must succeed on a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw or take 14 (2d8 + 5) bludgeoning damage plus 5 (1d10) piercing damage and become grappled by the fence (escape DC 14). Until this grapple ends, the creature is restrained. The fence can constrict up to four targets at a time.



Kampian (Caterpillarfolk)

Huge monstrosity, lawful neutral

Armor Class 15 (natural armor)

Hit Points 126 (12d12 + 48)

Speed 40 ft., climb 40 ft.

Abilities Str 19 (+4), Dex 14 (+2), Con 18 (+4), Int 7 (-2), Wis 12 (+1), Cha 18 (+4)

Senses blindsight 60 ft., passive Perception 11

Condition Immunities charmed, frightened

Languages Kampian

Challenge 5 (1,800 XP)

Innate Spellcasting. The kampian’s innate spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 15). The kampian can innately cast the following spells, requiring no material components:

At will: detect thoughts
3/day: cure wounds, calm emotions
1/day: dream

Spider Climb. The kampian can climb difficult surfaces, including upside down on ceilings, without needing to make an ability check.


Multiattack. The kampian makes two attacks: one with its spear and one with its sting.

Spear. Melee or Ranged Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 15 ft. or range 40/120 ft., one target. Hit: 14 (3d6 + 4) piercing damage, or 17 (3d8 + 4) piercing damage if wielded with two hands to make a melee attack.

Sting. Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 17 (3d8 + 4) piercing damage plus 7 (2d6 poison damage), and the target must succeed on a DC 15 Constitution saving throw or be poisoned for 1 minute. Until this poison ends, the target is paralyzed. The target can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the poison on itself on a success.



Urgoth the Unyielding and Lefty

Urgoth the Unyielding is one of the greatest orc warriors that ever lived. Which is impressive, when one considers that his twin brother, Lefty is conjoined to Urgoth’s back by a thick piece of skin.

Urgoth is an orc war chief and Lefty is an orc Eye of Gruumsh. Both brothers have the following traits:

Speed. Urgoth and Lefty’s speed is 20 feet.

Conjoined Twins. Urgoth and Lefty share the same space at all times, as well as the same initiative count, and they move as one. They have advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks and on saving throws against being blinded, charmed, deafened, stunned, and knocked unconscious. In addition, they cannot be flanked.

Wakeful. If Lefty is asleep, Urgoth is awake and vice versa.


Floating Eyeball

Tiny undead, lawful evil

Armor Class 14

Hit Points 1 (1d4 – 1)

Speed 0 ft., fly 30 ft. (hover)

Abilities Str 1 (-5), Dex 19 (+4), Con 9 (-1), Int 6 (-2), Wis 10 (+0), Cha 1 (-5)

Skills Perception +4, Stealth +10

Damage Immunities poisoned

Condition Immunities deafened, poisoned, prone

Senses truesight 30 ft., passive Perception 14

Languages –

Challenge  1/2 (100 XP)


Eye Ray. Ranged Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, range 30 feet., one target. Hit: 13 (3d8) necrotic damage.



Just Grass

Just grass feeds on evil emotions. A patch of just grass typically covers a 10-foot square. Any evil creature the steps on or touches just grass must succeed on a DC 15 Constitution saving throw, or be cursed with just grass growth.  The cursed target can’t regain hit points, and its hit point maximum decreases by 10 (3d6) for every 24 hours that elapse. If the curse reduces the target’s hit point maximum to 0, the target dies, and its body turns into a patch of just grass. In addition, if the cursed creature touches another evil creature, that creature must also make a DC 15 Constitution save, or be cursed with just grass growth, too. The curse lasts until removed by the remove curse spell or other magic, or the evil creature performs an action the Just Grass considers good. The nature of just grass can be correctly identified with a successful DC 15 Intelligence (Nature) check.


12 Disembodied Heads in a Pile

Small undead, chaotic evil

Armor Class 11 (14 with mage armor)

Hit Points 81 (18d4 + 36)

Speed 0 ft.

Abilities Str 1 (-5), Dex 13 (+1), Con 15 (+2), Int 16 (+3), Wis 10 (+0), Cha 11 (+0)

Skills Arcana +6, Perception +6

Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, slashing

Damage Immunities poison

Condition Immunities blinded, charmed, frightened, grappled, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned, prone, restrained, stunned

Senses blindsight 60 ft., passive Perception 16

Languages all languages it knew in life

Challenge 6 (2,300 XP)

Magic Resistance. The pile of heads has advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects.

Multiheaded Caster. The pile of heads can concentrate on up to three spells at one time. In addition, the pile of heads gets three bonus actions and three reactions per round as long as it uses its bonus actions and reactions to cast spells or use its spells’ effects.

Spellcasting. The pile of heads is a 3rd-level spellcaster. Its spellcasting ability is Intelligence (spell save DC 14, +6 to hit with spell attacks). It requires no somatic or material components to cast its spells. The pile of heads has the following wizard spells prepared:

Cantrip (at-will): acid splash, chill touch, fire bolt, mage hand, poison spray, prestidigitation, ray of frost
1st level (at-will): burning hands, charm person, magic missile, mage armor, shield
2nd level (at-will): darkness, flaming sphere, levitate, misty step, web

Spell Babble. The pile of heads casts three of its at-will spells.


Thanks for reading!

Hopefully, this adds a whole lot of random to your Dungeons & Dragons fifth edition campaigns. Feel free to use anything here. Just not commercially. And the art isn’t mine: borrowed!

Next up on my list of stuff to stat, I’ve got the infamous Gandalf the Gray/White and Saruman the Many-Colored. No pressure, right?

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See you then!

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